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I am 35 years old, and I have never had a proper girlfriend

Discussion in 'Outdoors' started by sergio perez cascant, Jan 3, 2020.

  1. sergio perez cascant

    sergio perez cascant New Member

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    Hi

    Maybe in this forum I can get help, my situation is quite sad, and for me totally not understandable.

    I explain you the situation, I am 35 years old, I think I am quite good looking guy, you can see the picture from my profile, its me. Also I think I am good person, I am king, nice and polite.

    Since I started to date girls, 20 years ago, I have met thousands and thousands, I don´t lie, I don´t need to lie on this, I am really worried about my situation, but I just had adventures and short relationships, like 2 or 3 months duration.

    Only I had one that it lasts around 1 year, but it was distance relationship... so I think I should not consider it either.

    The point is, how is it possible that I am not able to find love, a normal girlfriend, from so many dates, meetings, encounters... What am I doing wrong? What is what girls need in a guy?

    I would like to know specially the opinion from girls in this post, but also it would be interesting to know male opinion and experiences.

    I know girls are more complex than guys, always overthinking, more intense feelings, but I am really not able to understand them, to find the way to make them love me and need me.

    Maybe they see I am desperate, they can feel that its something wrong with me, I am afraid to fail again... My confidence goes down sometimes because of this.

    I need your help guys¡

    Thank you
     
    Hodari Haynes likes this.
  2. Hodari Haynes

    Hodari Haynes New Member

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    I understand your situation a little. You'd be surprised to find out that a lot of males have experienced the same issue. There are a few things to take into account when talking about this.

    First off, I commend you for being open and honest about such a personal point in your life. That takes a lot courage, and self assessment to even get to that point. It's totally normal, at least now of days it is.

    You grew up in a time where love music was really fading out of style, and being replaced by less sentimental harmonies about money, and who is cheating on who. It's not as important to men as girls, but females seem to be more sensitive to the meaning of musical lyrics.

    Then take into account that women over the past 10 years have picked up the torch for independence more effectively, and have been taking their active place in the economic societies. That by itself is a world re-shaper. So women are going to be slightly less sensitive that what their mothers and grandmother's might have experienced.


    Finally, you might be a little too nice, it's good though, don't change. Instead just be more direct with women and let them know how you feel, but don't be too emotional about it. Also, it may be beneficial to start off as friends, and let the rest flow organically. I hope this is somewhat helpful to your post. If you have any questions, feel free to respond. Take care of you first though. Get your financial situation together, and women will be banging at your door like an uber eats delivery.
     
  3. Fredwriter

    Fredwriter New Member

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    Hi Sergio,

    Like Hodari said, times have changed. People get married later in life and stay single for years because they're just focused on other aspects of their lives. Everybody goes through dry spells where they don't meet a lot of people, so that's completely normal.

    Plus, younger people just are coupling up and getting into serious relationship, so you'll have to go through a lot of potential girlfriends before you meet someone who you really like and who wants to get serious with you.

    I had a friend who used to say that desperation is like cheap cologne. The problem is: How do you not seem desperate when you are? My suggestion is to take the edge off of it by deprogramming yourself. Make a game of it and say you're going to talk to 10 new girls this week and get their phone numbers. If you can't get 10 numbers, try to beat your record the following week. The point isn't to get phone numbers, but to keep you meeting new women and to lessen your anxiety by making talking to new people an everyday thing.
     
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  4. Hodari Haynes

    Hodari Haynes New Member

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    Awesome advice, yes that's going to be a sure way to break that edge off. It's not always that simple to just connect right away with women. Stop thinking that it's you that's the problem, it's today's way of thinking that's just changed.


    Women are tired of being played, and unfortunately good guys are going to get caught up in that also. You just gotta be patient. I have women trying to rush into relationships all the time. I had to be single for about 4 years, which was fine for me. I just asked this woman on a date this week, but I had her phone number at least 6 months. Patience.
     

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