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How do you deal with negative people?

Discussion in 'Philosophy' started by Ari, Jun 14, 2016.

  1. Ari

    Ari New Member

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    During the years, I've learned that spending time with a negative person can only drag you down and make you feel bad emotions.
    Negative people aren't (necessarily) bad or mean, but their presence around us is toxic. They always find something to complain about and they don't support us or encourage enough.
    The point is: how to do when negative people are part of our family and we are unable to take distance from them?
     
  2. NormaD

    NormaD New Member

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    My mother always told me that if I wanted to succeed in life, the most important thing I had to do was to stay away from negative people. She used to say that negative people have a problem for every solution. I used to laugh at this but lately I've found myself thinking about this more and more. It seems that a lot of people have allowed themselves to grow comfortable in their negativity and they will happily complain to anyone who will listen about how bad things are.

    My way of dealing with these kinds of people is simple, though not easy, because sometimes it involves being downright rude, changing the subject when they start complaining or just plain leaving the room when they enter. I just refuse to accept negative people around me who are forever trying to convince me of how bad the world is or how hard life is.
     
  3. Knitting

    Knitting New Member

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    I completely agree with you about negative people being toxic.

    I am at the stage in my life where I have realised that I cannot have these type of people around me - their toxic attitudes just aren't good for my soul. As a result, I try not to surround myself with negative people.

    Obviously you can't completely eliminate negative people from your life; there will always be some negative people that you have to deal with, some work colleagues for example. But you can choose your friends, and personally, I don't feel that I have the energy to take on negative people as friends.

    I believe life is too short to not be happy, so surround yourself with people and things that support your happiness. Don't burden yourself with negative people.
     
  4. Mike2016

    Mike2016 New Member

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    As long as people have emotions, it is nearly impossible to stay in a good mood. I typically try to avoid negative people because they are a drain on my emotions. Avoiding negative people is good because you don't want any violent or verbal confrontations that may lead to someone getting hurt. If being around negative people can not be helped, I usually say as little as possible. I have learned that this may actually defuse the situation.
     
  5. Shadowkatt

    Shadowkatt New Member

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    The thing I have noticed the most about toxic and negative people is that they cause a spiral. In a lot of cases even when you get rid of them, several more show up to take there place. Speaking as someone who sees this all the time I have to say that there is no one method to just up and deal with this type of problem. My best guess is to use more than one method of controlling the amount of exposure and how you are exposed to these people. A last thing I would do is to be as positive or even helpful without being overbearing as it defuses a lot of people.
     
  6. bella556

    bella556 Member

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    I try to only spend some time with member of my family who are like that. Most of my family that's negative all the time usually don't invite me on their trips unless I have a lot of money to spend . I just decided to save money for when I wanted to go on family trips. I am going with my baby sister to a family reunion next August. We pretty much get along well most of the time. Going with her on the trip will be a very pleasant time.
     
  7. Tyi

    Tyi Member

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  8. Tyi

    Tyi Member

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    I like what Norma D's mother said about negative people. They really do have a problem for every solution. I say avoid the m at all cost. They are toxic in word and in deed. And if you continue to keep company with them, they will bring out the worst in you. What I am finding out is this, sometimes you have to release some folks and let them go. You do this, not because you don't love or care about them: you do so to preserve your own peace of mind.
     
  9. Cheeaka

    Cheeaka New Member

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    Thank goodness for the people out there who do have good, positive vibes, although negative people seem to be everywhere in this world, unfortunately. Once I find out that a person is negative, I go right into 'operation-avoid.'
    If the person is in my family like you said, and therefore it is hard to put physical distance between myself and that person, I put emotional and/or mental distance between us.

    If I'm dealing with a family member who is toxic to me and my peace of mind, I will do a multitude of things to make sure that my contact with this person is minimal. Whatever it takes, I'm going to do to make sure that I avoid as much negativity as possible because my peace of mind is important to me.

    For instance, if the family is having a get-together of some sort, and 'that' person is there, I make sure that I have books on-hand to read so that I can sit somewhere and be into my book, and not into their negative conversation or comments. I won't let comments like "put that book down and come join the rest of the family" sway me from continuing to read.

    I'll wear headphones and listen to music, or have my phone handy so that I can occupy myself by checking e-mails, writing e-mails, checking facebook, reading articles online. Anything to keep myself busy and unavailable.

    I do whatever I need to do to avoid any lengthy contact with a negative person. Over the years I have put a lot of time and energy into thinking of ways to do just that. Whether it's not answering my phone, rarely returning calls, avoiding any long conversations with certain people, not going where I know they are going to be, I'll do it. I save myself a bunch of unnecessary drama and aggravation in the process.
     
  10. sharon254

    sharon254 New Member

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    Negative people will always be there.The only way to deal with them is by avoiding them.This might be harsh but truth be told,negative people will only bring about negativity in your life.They will diminish your enthusiasm when it comes to something you are interested in.They will affect how you look at the world.Negative people only serve to take out the beauty of the life we are living.We don't need them when life gets tough instead we need people who are positive enough to motivate us to pick ourselves up and move forwards.
     
  11. Chiefson

    Chiefson New Member

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    In the past, I have had to deal with lots of negative people. During my middle school for instance, where we lived in close quarters, we had no choice but to deal with each other. In that situation, I managed this by keeping my relationship on mere cordiality grounds with such people. Through my college education, I didn't really have to deal with any such person, because at the college level, interacting with people is a matter of choice. My general advice for handling such situations is that, you can maintain just a surface relationship with them.

    In a situation where the person happens to be a family member, all you've got to do, is to keep your distance as much as you can and still maintain a cordial relationship with them.
     
  12. osolase

    osolase New Member

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    Quite honestly, I think who and who is not a negative person needs definition or better still We should be left to our individual definition of who negative people are.

    For me, a negative person connotes someone who for whatever reasons hurt people deliberately or are indifferent to the knowledge that they are hurtful. Of course, that description is not encompassing.

    In dealing with negative people, one must recognise the fact that it is not always their fault. It is said that hurting people hurt others. We can't tell what their past experiences have been, the pain they have gone through or are going through. I recommend that we should avoid being insensitive in dealing with these persons we consider toxic. We can limit how much involvement they may have in our personal lives but we should not literally isolate ourselves from then completely. They need some shoulder to lean on sometimes. And we may just be the help they desperately need sometimes.
     
  13. juxtapositi0n

    juxtapositi0n New Member

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    To deal with negativity put off by other people, I've come to use a strategy that has been very effective. I imagine myself in a bubble. In my bubble, I am happy. It is very important to not let others influence my bubble, regardless of their emotional output.

    By actually visualizing this sphere during times of negativity or stress from other people, it makes it a lot easier to keep your sphere in tact. We are responsible for ourselves, and we can regulate our emotions. Don't let others influence your sphere!

    The best way I've seen it summed up:

    Just be.
     
    Last edited: Jul 10, 2017
  14. lead

    lead New Member

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    I deal with them from the "Prism of Perspective" principle. Already you've being able to qualify these people as "negative". Don't you think you also have the will power to assume they don't exist in your sphere (i.e. in your world). In Stoicism, this is a usual practice based on the principle of subjectivity. One can view this "negative" people from his/her "Prism of Perspective" as nonentity.

    Subject them to anything you wish. It is your world and you have the dictatorial control over your very OWN universe. Don't let this negative people perspective count as it pertains to you, don't give them any form of attention.

    Your destiny lies in your hands not what they (i.e negative people) assume of you.
     
  15. JoeMilford

    JoeMilford New Member

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    I feel that all of us are negative people at times, and, that being said, I also tend to find people who seem positive all of the time to be shallow and maybe even dishonest. We must not write people off as "negative" or "toxic" before giving them a chance. You may find that you met the most amazing person in the universe just at a rough point in his or her life. Sure, if things are unhealthy in your relationship, you must take care of yourself; however, over the years, I have seen people just not willing to do the work decent relationships take, especially when negative things are happening, because people just want a fast food fun life with instant happiness delivery devices. You have to ask yourself does that really provide you or your loved ones with an opportunity for real growth--
     
  16. Mitchell

    Mitchell New Member

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    When I come across such people I tend to shift away from them or I talk to them about their negative space.
     
  17. MusicFlow

    MusicFlow New Member

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    My favorite approach is ignoring. You simply shut them out of your life. You may be positive but if you are constantly surrounded by such negative examples you'll start to feel like them in no time. Just keep yourself on your way to success and don't let anyone disturb you.
     
  18. walter12

    walter12 New Member

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    A lot of people might not share my point of view of this subject, but here it is, why would even bother trying to deal with someone that always brings down everyone around them and project negative thoughts that ruin the situation and mood of others, i can understand if there are close relatives that have always been there for you, but other than that, you're just making your life far more miserable and less productive over someone that is not worth it, unless they show honest and truthful signs of improvement and self discipline, then they you should just let them go and break any relation you have with them.
     
  19. roldya

    roldya New Member

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    This is harder to do consistently but try to not take it personally. Have a really good think about why these people are acting this way. It's not that hard to see that when someone is negative it's usually because they're anxious, tense or worked up. Or maybe it's just a bad habit. Whatever the motivation, I think you'll find that negative types are just trying to exert some kind of control or influence over their world and they're feeling frustrated or scared that they can't do this.

    If you spend enough time seeing what really lies behind their actions it's hard to stay upset or mad at them. After all, they're just acting out because they've got some problems that they don't quite know how to handle. Practice this all the time and eventually all you'll feel is a kind of gentle sympathy.

    Does this help you decide how to act? At first, not really, but the more you understand other people and the more gently and sympathetic you can be, the calmer you'll feel. How they act and what they say won't bother you so much and at some point you'll just kind of know what to do automatically.
     
  20. angeleyes09

    angeleyes09 New Member

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    I don't listen to negative people around me.It will only waste my time and they will not help me become a better person.I always think they will be happy if they see me in a bad situation.It is better to live a life in your own way and learn from your mistakes.Negative people will pull you down and they always have reason to do that.
     

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